best cat blog ever

Posted: December 16, 2010 in A Day in the Life, Complete Nonsense

Cats.  Aren’t cats just great?  They’re furry and cute and…Okay, now that you’re totally into this blog, here’s the thing.  I’ve been noticing a trend in web-based media for a while now and it’s reached an internally distressing level for me.  Is “epidemic” too strong a word?  There are a number of writers – good writers – that put up some substantive, entertaining stuff each and every day.  They post their blogs on WordPress or Blogspot.  They put up videos on YouTube.  And it’s good stuff.  I mean, I’m talking about real, socially relevant issues that they’re hitting in an informative and compelling way.  (If you haven’t guessed, I’m one of those who I would consider on the more “substantive” side of the fence.)  Great stuff, but relatively unnoticed.

In the lobby of the WordPress/YouTube office building, upper management has cordoned off an area for their top performers.  These are the “crème de la cream” as my buddy used to say.  And you can’t miss them.  They’ve got the platform, the roped off area, the flashing marquee, and the bullhorn complete with the WordPress/YouTube company logo on it.  And do you know who these top performers are?  Cats.  Well, many of them are anyway.  Some of them are teenagers who can’t lip sync but try anyway or Justin Bieber doing anything at all.  Anyhow, each and every day, as I make my way to my little digital cubicle inside this empire, I have to pass these wonderful animals who have so adorably wrestled the culture’s attention away from the, shall we say, more relevant topics of the day.  (Side note:  Some of you are thinking “wow, WordPress has an office building? And they share it with the YouTube people?”  Well, actually, no.  But, by addressing that question I’m assuming that there are at least some of you who decided to keep reading once you learned that this post really wasn’t at all about celebrating cats and the unique gift mix they bring to our previously-unenriched lives.)

[insert picture of kitten in hula skirt here]

For example, go to YouTube’s main page and type in “third world hunger”, or “human trafficking”.  You’ll see 102,000 views, 42,000, 274,000.  Not bad.  Respectable, right?  Now, type in “cats”.  You ready?  44,671,031 views.  17,249,000 views.  16,267,000 views.  That’s pronounced “tens of millions”.  And I can only assume that these numbers have already doubled since that last sentence.  Maybe someone should tell the Third World Hunger people about the cats?  Now, I’ll admit, some of the issue-oriented stuff is presented in a dry, unengaging way; I get that.  But even the videos and blogs that are really well done, compelling and evocative – even these videos are scoring a mere 45,000 views.  But cats?  And if that’s not enough to piss you off, I logged on to WordPress today.  In the “Freshly Pressed” section?  A picture of a cat with the caption “I am grammar nazi cat”.  Now, don’t misunderstand me.  If there are cats out there among us actively practicing Nazism, I want to know about it.  Well-spoken or not, cat Nazism, and Nazism of all kinds for that matter, must end!  It only took me a couple of sentences into this guy’s blog before it dawned on me, “hey…this blog isn’t about cats!  It’s about proper grammar!”.  I’m not upset at this guy, by the way.  Actually, as a writer, he’s pretty good.  But as a marketer, he’s genius.  This is a guy that at some point realized, it’s all about the cats.  If you can couple your blog with a picture of a cat, you’re golden.  And if you can title it something along the lines of “best cat blog ever” or “funniest cat moments”, you’re in the anals of history next to Socrates.

[insert picture of another damn cat here]

A couple of weeks ago, I put up a song and video celebrating Rosa Parks and her influence on the Civil Rights Movement, as well as her broader influence on human rights.  As of today, 483 views.  On the one hand, I’m thinking hey, that’s almost 500 people that have watched my video.  And that’s pretty cool.  On the other hand, the cats are at 45,000,000 and counting.  Taking into account that the cat video has been up for 4 years, I’ll adjust.  Square root, carry the one….a quick calculation tells me that the daily view rate is roughly 30,800.  14 days yields around 430,000.  Now, I’m not upset with 483 views; not at all.  And if you’re among the 483, I really appreciate that you’ve given me 3:15.5 seconds of your time.  It’s simply the disproportion that I find staggering.

So, I’m going to conduct an experiment. Don’t worry, no cats were harmed in the writing of this blog.  Yet.

Perhaps it’s not as much about social consciousness as it is about learning how to place words [cat] in proper frequency to come up in the search engines and other SEO-related content [cat].  Perhaps from now on, regardless of what I’m blogging about [cat], I’ll just make occasional [cat] mention of these top performers; ride their fluffy little coat tails [cat] right on up the search engine ladder.  So in my next post addressing third world hunger or the modern-day slavery of human trafficking, I’ll just pop up a picture of these little furry creatures.  Because, why wouldn’t I?

Maybe I’ll soon be sharing the red carpet and Craft Service with the 11-million-hit-acclaimed keyboard playing cat in the blue t-shirt.  And if I am, you can bet that it’s because I’ve done some much needed edits to the Rosa video.  Until then, you can see the Rosa Tribute by going to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rheHYXeuCMk.

Thanks for reading.  By doing so, you’ve become a vital part of a monumental study that seeks once and for all to determine the correlation between the pressing social issues of our time and a completely unrelated, random animal.  Thank you for your participation.  Now that you’ve done your courageous duty, sit back and grab a magazine.  The study itself is going to take a while.  You really can’t rush these things.  In the mean time, if you’re looking for a way to get your blog noticed, draw viewers to your YouTube creation, or simpy propel your social issue to the top of the nation’s radar, may I make a suggestion?  Invoke the cat.  Invoking the kitten is even better.  As for me, there’s really only one appropriate way to end this post.  Cats.

[insert picture of kitten in lab coat and safety goggles]

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Comments
  1. Great insights my friend. I guess we are all pretty much guilty of spending more time watching cats play the piano or a a German Shepherd that can howl the national anthem on YouTube than we are caring about stuff that makes us think and could change the world. You and Front Burner Creative are changing that! Great blog!

  2. The most difficult thing is to find a blog with unique and fresh content but you definitely add value. Keep it like this.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Janel. It’s encouraging to know that people are actually reading what you write! I really appreciate you reading! Couldn’t find you on wordpress. Do you have a blog?

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